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Friday, June 24, 2011

Top 5 Weirdest Children's Toys

#5: Baby Laugh-a-Lot

The premise of this 1970 Remco doll is pretty simple: a doll who laughs when you rock her back and forth. What makes it creepy is that borderline demonic smile, and how they did the commercial.
I think the doll is either channeling the underworld or the illegitimate child of Chucky and the clown from It. Either way, I'm running away if I ever see it.

#4: Pregnant Barbie


Again, the concept of this toy is pretty understandable- Barbie's done just about everything, so why not pregnancy? Although, Ken doesn't have any...parts to make that happen. I'm lookin' at you, GI Joe action figure...

#3: Who Cares About Disabled People?


To clarify, this book was intended to teach the lesson that we should care about people who have problems, it's just badly worded. And apparently "disabled" includes:

#2: You Can Shave the Baby


We all know Japan makes some crazy stuff.
I've seen katamari. *
I've seen seriously creepy commercials. **
I...honestly have no explanation for this. Not even a joke. Can we...can we just move on to the next one?

#1: Big Loo the 4-foot-tall Robot


Things it does:
-Speaks (barely) by someone turning a crank on the back of its head
-Its eyes stare into your soul
-Right arm moves
-It shoots darts OUT OF ITS FRACKING NIPPLES.

So all in all, I think Big Loo deserves the title of #1 weirdest children's toy. If you'll excuse me, I need to go scrub the horror out of my eyes.


*I actually love Katamari
**I am aware that this is cool and awesome. I just find it really creepy.

1 comment:

  1. Reading this and following the links was a pretty great idea at 1:16 AM.

    On an unrelated note, I won't be sleeping tonight.

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