Well, Valentine's Day is coming up, and since I'm single I thought I'd ruin it for everyone else too.
I've always noticed that heart shapes are not shaped remotely like actual hearts. I know there's a lot of history behind why hearts symbolize love and emotion, but who decided that the actual shape of a heart wasn't good enough, so drew a weird lumpy thing and said that's what a heart looked like?
What could be more romantic than literally removing a vital organ from your body and presenting it to the object of your affection? None of this cards crap.
So every time I see heart-shaped chocolates, or those little Necco pieces of awesomeness, I'm reminded of my lifelong confusion at the hands of a naked baby with a bow and arrow. So then I eat the candy. Because, well, it's candy.